Doc's Final House Call

So this could be the end. I'll be there sitting in section 524A, yelling until I'm hoarse and giving Doc, if it is indeed his sendoff, the adulation he deserves. I hope it isn't the end.

Sure, Halladay will test free agency at the end of next season. But, who gives a fuck? He deserves it. This guy has been a loyal soldier to the Jays for so long and if he wants to see how much he can get in the free market, more power to him.

I think it is clear that now it is not a matter of if, but when. When the move finally happens I hope it is far, far away from Toronto and in the National League. I don't think I could handle seeing him in another uniform on a regular basis. Thank you Doc.

Carlton the Bear

For the first time in years Carlton the Bear will not be the most truculent member of the Maple Leafs franchise.

Carlton first debuted in 1995 and since then has invaded arenas across the league. He's improved his golfing the last couple seasons but that should change with the Leafs heading to the playoffs.

He clearly symbolizes this team the best. Cute and loveable but if he wants to he can tear your head off.

Other teams mascots are terrified. Check out the reactions of Ottawa's Spartacat and Montreal's Youppi when told that Carlton was coming for him.


Pure unadulterated fear.

How Did This Happen?

It's over. Pack it in. The Jays in the AL East are now closer to the last place Orioles than to the third place Rays. They have dropped below .500 for the first time this season and Roy Halladay is starting to look, well, human.

After a torrid start we were talking about playoffs and magic numbers. Now we have to count down the games until the season's over.

Why the pessimism? Well, firstly look at the teams directly ahead of us: the Rays, the defending Al Champs, the Yankees and the Red Sox. None of these teams are going to suddenly free fall, let alone all three of them. At one point this year the Jays were tied for first in the majors with a record of 27-14. Since then they have gone 16-30. Why? Injuries, inexperience, bad luck and of course Vernon. I'll still watch them or listen to them on the radio but all my hopes for playoffs have vanished. Eventually I will cheer up. After all there's always next year.

Bye Bye BJ

Na, na, na, na.
Na, na, na, na.
Hey, hey, hey.
Goodbye.

Let's at least enjoy it before we think about the fact that the Jays are paying him $15 million to sit at home. Money, that if JP had figured out a way to trade him, could have gone to Halladay. Sigh.

I love the TRUCULENCE!!!

(sung to the tune of Boom De Ya Da-Discovery Channel)

I love the Burkie,

I love Ron Wilson,

I love Beauchemin,

I love O-L-A-S


I love the Maple Leafs and
All their TRUCULENCE

BOOM-de-ah-da, BOOM-de-ah-da, BOOM-de-ah-da, BOOM-de-ah-da

I love to watch hits
I love the dirty plays
I love the body checks
I love Komisarek!



I love the Maple Leafs and
All their TRUCULENCE

BOOM-de-ah-da, BOOM-de-ah-da, BOOM-de-ah-da, BOOM-de-ah-da

I love to see pain
I love the blue line
I love the scared looks
I love when our D smashes things

I love the Maple Leafs and
All their TRUCULENCE

BOOM-de-ah-da, BOOM-de-ah-da, BOOM-de-ah-da, BOOM-de-ah-da

I Hate Babies

I'm going to do something I would never do and quite possibly will never do again. I'm going to write because I feel sorry for the Ottawa Senators. I don't feel bad because they have the worst fans in the league or the lisping GM but because of the way Dany Heatley has handled this entire trade situation. Dany Heatley is an asshole.

He first demanded a trade because he couldn't handle the fact that Cory Clouston played him less. A more intelligent, respectable player might have actually looked at the fact that the Sens improved under Clouston as a good thing but not selfish Dany Heatley. Now the rumour is that he wants a trade because Clouston might rip the A of his jersey . Well whinypants the alternate captain designation is earned. If you don't show leadership then you deserve to lose it. The entire overreaction in demanding to be dealt shows that he doesn't have the fortitude to handle a commanding role.

Now though Heatley has managed to top himself. He has sunk down to uber assholemania. By not responding to the trade to the Oilers (as I write this the deadline for the Sens $4 million bonus has just passed) he has prevented his GM from getting what he considers to be the best possible deal just because he doesn't want to play for Edmonton. Now though is Murray's turn to act. He needs to demand that Heatley shows up to play for Ottawa come October. Until Heatley decides to remove all the restrictions on his NTC Heatley should be forced to play. In the case that he chooses to sit home and not play, because he can't handle the inevitable booing, then the Sens can do what they did with Yashin and withhold his salary. Take the cap hit if the CBA demands but out of principle refuse to trade him until he agrees to go wherever the team decides to send him.

Now that Heatley has shown his true character it will be very interesting to see which GMs want him on their franchise. Yashin had a similar problem. He was a phenomenal talent, but was awful to deal with off the ice. It makes you wonder if Heatley was the true locker room cancer. At this point I do not see how he could be considered for Team Canada. He has handled himself with a complete lack of class. A guy who killed someone should know better.